I'm Back. I Missed Pineapples.

ok. i'm back. i couldn't stay away.
You know, like that song.
I'm still planning on making my dramatic move to Wordpress, but I don't have the patience right now. So... soon.

A few things I've been wanting to say:

1. What's up with the movement toward alternative grains? I was at a diner this weekend and had the unfortunate experience of sitting next to a woman who would not shut the fuck up about quinoa. KEEEENNNNNWAAAAA. DO YOU HAVE KEEEEENWA? JUST A LIL' BIT O' KEEEEEEEEEEENWA?
If it weren't for the stop-traffic-deliciousness of the sweet potato pancake sitting in front of me, I may have hurt her.
DO YOU THINK YOUR ALTERNATIVE GRAIN IS BETTER THAN MY TOAST?
I didn't think so.

2. Why is every shirt in every store right now a maternity shirt? It's like the whole babydoll dress trend of '97... but even more horrible.
I also hate ballet flats.

3. The other day, I was at the store buying an Amy's frozen sandwich thingy. Spinach and feta or something.
I was at the checkout and the guy was like, "is this your lunch?"
Skeptical and unamused, I humored him: "uh, yea."
He replies,"Sometimes my wife does that. She just heats something like that up and eats it. And that's that."

...

...

Uh...yea?

Um.

Umm.

Okay.

Wat do you say to that??: "Uhhh, she's so weird... heating up a frozen entree like that... in the microwave!? Ca-RaaaAzy!"

I went with "Oh."