17 Crabapples for Chewy Light Rum

So Orbit Gum decided to make an "EXOTIC NEW FLAVOR!": Mojito Mint.
Oh, this is clearly not a good idea.
But this also means that I am necessitated by the Mandate for Assy New Flavor Trying (1986) to buy it.

So buy it I did.
It was not good.
Upon first chew, I was all, "hmm. this is not too bad."
Then I promptly spit it out and looked around quizzically and angrily for where I put down my mojito.

This course of events is discomfiting at 9:15am. And considering that I typically chew gum immediately after morning coffee, this flavor just ain't gonna do.

Now... Manhattan gum... that might not be terrible.