500 Crabapples for Not Putting Caffeine to Good Use

At Best Friend Espresso in Kenmore, baristas go thigh-high. An elevated service window offers customers a nearly full-length view of pretty, young baristas — some of them high-school students — in short skirts, tank tops and high heels.

Best Friend owner Wayne Hembree said he requires employees to dress "classy;" in dresses, skirts and a nice top.

"What I think most of them have found is that their tips are better if they wear short skirts," he said.

Interested in gacking up your breakfast even more? Go read the whole damn thing.

I could rant. I could throw creamer. I could tape (staple?) dead wallabies [see below] all over my head and tap-dance on in there and kick Wayne Hembree in the shins.
Or I could laugh hysterically at the fact that all of these proprieters cited in the article actually think they are being innovative. To wit:

"In this area, we all know how to make good coffee," said Barbara Record, who opened Bikini Espresso in Renton last month. The trick is to set your business apart, she said, and sex is one sure-fire way to do that.

Yea, TOTALLY, Barb. Like, ohmygod, yea. Sex to sell? You are absolutely revolutionary! You will be rich! You will take over the world with glitter and poise!

Not feeling illuminated enough yet? Not to worry.
The baristas themselves are equally brimming with novel nuggets:

"Your customers freakin' adore you. Everybody's excited to see you," Law said. "You spend a few minutes with them and they leave."

Yes, yes, I understand the pattern.


Blogger Danny said...

"Your customers freakin' adore you. Everybody's excited to see you...You spend a few minutes with them and they leave."

Hmm. Sounds oddly like prostitution. But then, sex does sell right?

11:50 AM  
Blogger kate.d. said...

like i said to you about this earlier, the way that the american psyche markedly resembles the shallow end of the swimming pool makes me very sad.

to paraphrase twisty, "vulgarity is the soul of patriarchy. vulgarity begins...at the coffee shop."

1:25 PM  
Anonymous hetherjw said...

and now twisty is in:

3:21 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home