6 Mulligans for the Old Lady Who Kicked My Ass With Her Ug Green Car

We all have a list of special "firsts":
First Kiss
First Real-Person Job
First Hangover
First Time Eating Biscuits and Scrambled Eggs [gaaaaaaaaaaaahyum]
First Time You Started Questioning "Life" on a Daily Basis


Well, today I added a new one to my personal tally:
First Time Getting Hit by a Car

Now, understand me here, I've been in more car accidents than you can shake a dangling bumper at, but I've never had this happen...

I'm walking to work this morning through Davis Square, waiting to cross the street by the Somerville Theater. Walk light walkifies. As I step off the curb, the car in the righthand lane goes. Directly into my thigh. You betcha. I look the driver in the eye: a 482-year-old woman wearing a dumb hat and glasses as thick as all get-out. Still, she does not stop. Meh. So, I hoist myself up onto her hood. And then she notices. And starts screaming... "I'm sooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrry OH MY GOD, Oh MY God!"

Yea, that's pretty much the end of it. It was fine. I'm fine. Moo.

I continued my walk to work, and was slightly weirded out for a half-hour or so, because, like, that was weird.

But, by 10am, I'm thinking, "wow, rad, I got hit by a car today..."

"Sweet... NaBloPoMo is all set for tonight."

Also, I have a neato bruise on my ass, which is pretty cool.


Blogger Tom said...

First hangover? I don't really remember mine... I guess that means it was a good one!

Though I do remember waking up with a neato bruise on my ass ;)


9:01 PM  
Blogger Hooker said...

You should have wiggled your fingers at her and creepily moaned "THINNER" at her before hobbling away.

9:17 PM  
Blogger jayniek said...

ain't nobody call me mimsy.

i had to look that up.

maybe i am. but only a little.

that word is fun.

and i learned a new one while looking it up: miminy-piminy.
that is awesome.

7:39 AM  
Blogger e$ said...

oh man, hooker. way to hijack the whole comments section with an arcane yet awesome movie reference.

sue the bitch, that's all I've gotta say.

12:25 PM  
Blogger Hooker said...

Snicker snack.

3:31 PM  

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