3 Mulligans for My Asshole of a Knee
So, I haven't blogged about this yet because it makes me pissy and unlikeable, but I need to...
My knee is broken. Major kaput.
What this means is that I can't run on it. And for those who know me even in the slightest capacity, you know that this makes me unconsolably sad and angry.
In fact, for the past two months since this injury occurred, I am convinced that my eyes have hardened into apoplectic slits; it's all I can do to not throw potted plants at people as they walk by simply because they are people and I am currently a wild, unreasonable wench.
I am trying to be nice; I really am. And I am being better with this than with past injuries (which is absolutely frightening). But I still get so fired-up every time I see someone running and I can't that I want to grab them and throw them to the ground and hold them there with my heel and get all in their face and scream "DO YOU APPRECIATE THIS? DO YOU APPRECIATE YOUR TWO GOOD FUCKING KNEES? HUH? HUH? YEA. I FUCKING THOUGHT SO. YOU ASS."
Thankfully, my (now yellow-curry-flavored) kitchen cabinets are stocked with vicodin and wine. And more vicodin.
And to everyone I have mentally or physically bitch-slapped in the past 2 months, please don't take it personally.
Even though I hate you.