4 Pineapples for Not Reevaluating My Hatred of Large Poodles

I just noticed Blogger's new "Change Language" option.
Whaddya think-- Italiano?
Si? Oui!

Spurred by an unfortunate incident at work today in which I maowed through a container of tic-tacs in, hmmm, let's call it 45 seconds, while I may or may not have blacked-out... I have decided to compose a pert lil' list of unimportant shit that I am terrible at.

Henceforth, let's start with:

1. not eating (chewing furiously) the entire roll of lifesavers/certs/mentos or a whole container of tic-tacs within 12 minutes of purchasing them (esp. the lemon&lime kind, which is very European). Altoids I can hold onto, but merely because my mouth would likely shuck itself off in layers if I tried to be a 'toids rager.

2. also, not feeling kinda wicked stressed out that I ended the paragraph 2 above this one with a danglin' prep'.
whatever... that's where it's at.

And now, more things that I have mad bad skillz at (yo):

2. Resisting tarty magazines at the supermarket. I buy at least four every month. I'm talking Cosmo and its corresponding brethren.

3. Actually just ponying up and getting subscriptions to all of these magazines. Because that would be giving in.

4. Not silent-mouthing "i hate you i hate you i hate you" when I am merely trying to say it over and over in my head. This mostly happens when I am watching a sandwich-shop person make my sandwich wrong. Unwanted mayo makes me hateful. I also say it to most birds that aren't beautiful.

Also... [list over, btw] this morning I saw a regular poodle and I didn't like it at all. So, for those of you curious about the status of my poodle hatred, it's still thriving, though I'm doggedly working on it.

Yea....that's right... I said "doggedly." I didn't mean it... Let it go.


Blogger e$ said...

by "making your sandwich wrong", do you mean "putting condiments directly onto the bread"?

9:48 AM  
Blogger jayniek said...

oh erin, you know too much.

yesterday, I watched in horror as wet tomatoes were slopped on the bread with damp rubber gloves.


The only thing worse that mayo is bleeding tomatoes, with their "oops I didn't shake the ketchup" icky juice.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Stacey said...

Oh my god, I do the same thing with tic-tacs/mints/gum/etc. I just chow then all down within seconds of buying them and then my plan for fresh breath on, like, the very next day is completely shot!

10:15 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

i canNOT mouth "i hate you" without saying it out loud as well. people who i am secretly hating over the phone looove it.

4:46 PM  

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