16,532 Crabapples for the Return of the Leggings Leviathan

First off, I'd like to take a moment to expound upon my On Notice board.
And thank you, kate.d for seconding: LEGGINGS. Dontcha, dontcha, dontcha know? Leggings are wrong. And horrible. Actually, no... they were horrible in '89... They're just straight-up-smack-down unacceptable this time 'round.

If I saw a girl walking down the street wearing leggings (no, no, patterned leggings!) and ankle-strapped shoes and-and a SEQUINED BAG and-and-and A LUNCH BOX (okay, I don't know why she'd have a lunch box, and, actually, that might be kinda cool if it was maybe like a retro plastic TeenWolf lunchbox or something, but no, I mean, like, a plasticoated-lifevest-material flourescent green and pink Kooler bag model)... Yea, if I saw that... I would unapologetically bean her in the head with a mace tasteful pebble.

Your Takeaway: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many crabapples for leggings, all of their various hipster/punk/urbanoutfittery permutations, and everything that could possibly be paired with leggings.

What's next-- bodysuits?
I will. I will puke.
Don't test me, Irrefutably-Drunk-and-High-Fashion-Industry.

I know I began with "first off," but I'm too angry to continue.
When I see poor little Katie Holmes wearing leggings and a flippy-flouncy skirt, I will know the apocalypse is upon us.
Already, I hear horses.

**Flickr thanks to Malingering for capturing the horror.