8.14.2006

16,532 Crabapples for the Return of the Leggings Leviathan


First off, I'd like to take a moment to expound upon my On Notice board.
And thank you, kate.d for seconding: LEGGINGS. Dontcha, dontcha, dontcha know? Leggings are wrong. And horrible. Actually, no... they were horrible in '89... They're just straight-up-smack-down unacceptable this time 'round.

If I saw a girl walking down the street wearing leggings (no, no, patterned leggings!) and ankle-strapped shoes and-and a SEQUINED BAG and-and-and A LUNCH BOX (okay, I don't know why she'd have a lunch box, and, actually, that might be kinda cool if it was maybe like a retro plastic TeenWolf lunchbox or something, but no, I mean, like, a plasticoated-lifevest-material flourescent green and pink Kooler bag model)... Yea, if I saw that... I would unapologetically bean her in the head with a mace tasteful pebble.

Your Takeaway: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many crabapples for leggings, all of their various hipster/punk/urbanoutfittery permutations, and everything that could possibly be paired with leggings.

What's next-- bodysuits?
I will. I will puke.
Don't test me, Irrefutably-Drunk-and-High-Fashion-Industry.

I know I began with "first off," but I'm too angry to continue.
When I see poor little Katie Holmes wearing leggings and a flippy-flouncy skirt, I will know the apocalypse is upon us.
Already, I hear horses.

**Flickr thanks to Malingering for capturing the horror.

5 Comments:

Anonymous hetherjw said...

I've always said that the fashion industry is just a bunch of people sitting around and trying to see what they can make people wear to look stupid in public. leggings are just further proof.

8:51 PM  
Anonymous chris said...

hassan!

what up, cuz?

i agree. leggings blow.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

do NOT even get me started. i have a friend who has decided to start wearing leggings again per this abomination of a trend and i was sorry to say to her "call me when you've dicthed the leggings". hey, thems the breaks! i can't support bad habits!

10:04 AM  
Blogger jayniek said...

sarah-- good for you! yes, she most obviously doesn't deserve to be your friend, or anyone's friend for that matter. She needs to sit alone and realize what she's done, which is, of course, wear leggings and offend us all.

this morning i saw a lady with leggings sans skirt (just leggings and a short hoodie, out walking her dog---NOOOOO!!!!) and i nearly threw a handful of tic-tacs at her and screamed "ASSSSSHOLLLLE!".

I refrained, but she ruined my morning.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Stacey said...

Yuck, yuck, yuck. That's all I've got for now.


Wait - one more. YUCK.

11:28 AM  

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