100 Sweet Crabapples for Apt. 31

I assumed it was a pretty standard truth that nobody enjoys thumping bass at 6am on a Sunday morning.

This, apparently, is untrue, as proven by the asshole who lives below me.

I have lived here for 4 weekend days now, and each Sat/Sun dawns with a backbeat heavy enough to shake my floors. I exaggerate not.

So, considering that installing curtains yesterday turned into a huge gross big fat mess and all I wanted to do was enjoy my newfound bedroom darkness, the crescendoing drummation of thud-thud-thunky-thunky-thud at 5:45am was completely uncool to me.

So, sad and tired but not defeated, I marched down there. Really, there was marching. I took my phone in case s/he pulled a gun (so I could call 911 or use as "crime deterrent" since I do indeed have a Sprint phone). I knock, softly at first and soon with the force of an entire nation behind me. No Answer. Of course not. You are an asshole.

[Please also take into consideration that this is a charming old building which is completely silent and rustic and nice.... except for him/her. And the cute little doormats that serve as welcome to most people's doors are instead replaced on his/her door with a label-maker-made "Beware of Dog" warning. Also keep in mind that there is a strictly enforced No Dogs Allowed rule, so he/she is obviously being self-referential.]

After knocking for about 10 series of knocks, I walk back upstairs.
And I have a thought:

I am your upstairs neighbor.

I tried to solve this diplomatically, and you would have none of it. You made the call.

So I did what any self-preserving girl would do. I put on platform shoes and started tap-dancing on my hardwood floors. Then I took a quick break-- so I could do some drills with my mini basketball.


The music magically stopped.
I was far too proud.


Blogger kate.d. said...

oh my god, shades of guitar dude. except now you're on top, and don't have to resort to pounding on the ceiling with a broom handle, a la the grumpy old man on Friends.

but seriously, i feel for you - no one should have to deal with an obnoxious music neighbor more than once in their life, and guitar dude was really enough for two lifetimes, i think.

good luck, and keep tapping.

2:17 PM  
Blogger eeka said...

Ugggh. If it does really get to where it's bothering you, you can call the police or the mayor's 24-hour hotline. The noise ordinance in Boston states that nothing can be more than 50dB in the closest dwelling between 11pm and 7am (or over 70dB during the day). 50 dB is about the volume of a fan or A/C or quiet conversation in the same room as you. So basically, if someone lives in an apartment building or multi-family house, they can't play music or watch the TV above like a whisper during the night. You have an especially nice situation in an apartment building, because the loud person isn't going to know which one of y'all called the cops.

I live in a 3-family with people below me who play BOWM BOWM music literally 24 hours a day. Which strikes me as odd, since they're in their 30s and have kids and present as educated and stable people. But who apparently don't sleep or have jobs. What.

I own my unit and they rent theirs. Their landlord won't tell them to turn it down because she says "they have a right to play music or watch videos, and they shouldn't have to turn it off just because we have the type of house where you can hear everything." Actually ma'am, that IS how the noise ordinance works. If you choose to live in a dwelling that touches other dwellings, you have to keep it quiet.

Yeah, and I can't call the cops because they know I've complained to their landlord, and I'm kind of scared of retaliation given that they're weirdos who don't sleep or have jobs or ever turn their fucking nightclub down.

So yeah, try the cops or the mayor's hotline. Or complain to the loud person's landlord. Good luck.

8:17 PM  
Blogger Lyss said...

I feel your pain. The pple downstairs have a bad stereo system that they insist on cranking all too often.

Roommate called our mgmt comany to complain and foudnout that he wasn't the only one to call. Even pple in the next buildings were complaining.

12:54 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

I returned home the other night, and was able to hear the loud music as I pulled into the driveway. However, my upstairs neighbors lowered it as soon as they realized I had come home, and I felt bad, because they're nice, and don't often have parties, and I don't mind the occasional good time.
It was not, however, 6am on a Sunday. 6am and I would have killed them.
Congrats on your victory.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Katers said...

YOU are the SHIT, my friend.

1:56 PM  

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