41 Crabapples for the Return of J-Wahl

Finally.

When did I start talking about when The Hills would debut? Last November?
Alas--- a promo spot. The ball will drop May 31st at 10. What day of the week is that? Wednesday! Oh, so good. That will be the week after the ANTM finale, so I will officially still have one hour of guaranteed paper-thin goodness to look forward to each week.

AAAAANNNNNDDDD-- okay, so there's this quick :15 montage of the season, and I notice LC kissing a boy, but you can kinda only see the back of his head.

You know who it was?
I do.

Jason.
You heard me.
That's right.
Jason Jason.
J.
J-Wahl.

Lauren Conrad, if you're out there, here is my plea to you...

LC,
Listen to me: NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He is a player's player's player. And he speaks in monosyllabic malapropisms.
Good god, if you're gonna date an asshole, make sure he has a really good vocabulary.
Everyone knows that.