4.04.2006

19 Crabapples for Lizard's Wad


Contestants on Jeopardy are often odd. Fine.

Tonight though, things were whacked.

Here goes...
So, the contestant on the far right is named Lizard.
And, woo-hoo, he looks quite similar to the Judge from Jackie Brown.

Fine.

They play the game, etc.

Then, Lizard lands on a Daily Double.

"Yay-a Lizard!"

Not so fast.

So poor, innocent Alex T says, "How much would you like to wager, Lizard?"

[Note: Alex is expecting a number.]

Lizard responds, staring intensely (he is scary) at the collage of blue screens:
"I think I'll blow my wad, Alex."

Alex, quite obviously confused by the lack of number given, asks him to repeat his wager.
(Oh, Al, you heard the strange man. Don't encourage him.)

In solid earnestness, Lizard articulates emphatically:
"I will blow my wad, Alex."

At this juncture, a strange maternal instinct kicked in. Lizard, honey, you are on television, representing yourself. We do not say "blow my wad."

Even if he was kinda weirdly awesome, I'm tossing out some crabapples.

Remember when Frank Zappa had a cute baby daughter and named her Moon Unit? Quirky and stuff, blah blah blah... but. This is like that.

3 Comments:

Blogger kate.d. said...

i keep having to comment on here and say "oh my god."

oh my god.

that is all.

wait, was his name seriously lizard??

10:05 PM  
Blogger jayniek said...

you betcha.

you can't make this shit up.

6:35 AM  
Blogger Stacey said...

I'm so mad I missed that. I freaking love Jeopardy and practically always win when I catch it. My brain is full of completely useless trivia. There is room left over, however, for the idea that saying "blow my wad" on national television is never a good idea.

3:42 PM  

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