A Self-Bestowed Mulligan
Okay, so I've been totally slothy in my posts lately. And heck, I'll just throw it out there now -- it may stay this way for a short bit.
The thing is this:
Sometimes life is funny.
Most of the time life is not funny, but I find it funny anyway; this mindset has shaped the backside of my eyeballs into a permanent sarcastic smirk.
Rarely, the smirk falls somehow off my eyeballs and down my esophagus and into my gall bladder (and no one really knows what goes on down there anyway-- except I maybe think it's green).
And that's where I've been at for a week or so now.
***
Now, because I care about the state of the vital affairs of our nation (and the world), I will mention that it has been rumoured that my favourite colourful gal-pal K-Cav and Nick Lachey are British. I mean... dating. Although he's also rumored to be seeing Drew's partner (Cheryl Whatsernameanyway) from Dancing with the Stars.
And also, I found out this morning that my friend Cynthia (due in June) will be giving birth to identical twin girls. Now, y'all [now i'm from the south? seriously- it's in your best interest to ignore me...] know how I feel about babies in my life right now (not good), but if I had to choose, I would choose to have identical twin girls. So, maybe by the time that I have that option, I'll be ready to have Coors Light twinsets of my own.
And while we're talking about babies, check out pics of Gwen (the other one). Seriously, though- how pretty is she? I'm going with "very," but feel free to employ "extremely" or "totally."
So, hey-- 1 mulligan delivered directly to my gall bladder via alimentary canal (if, of course, it goes there).
The thing is this:
Sometimes life is funny.
Most of the time life is not funny, but I find it funny anyway; this mindset has shaped the backside of my eyeballs into a permanent sarcastic smirk.
Rarely, the smirk falls somehow off my eyeballs and down my esophagus and into my gall bladder (and no one really knows what goes on down there anyway-- except I maybe think it's green).
And that's where I've been at for a week or so now.
***
Now, because I care about the state of the vital affairs of our nation (and the world), I will mention that it has been rumoured that my favourite colourful gal-pal K-Cav and Nick Lachey are British. I mean... dating. Although he's also rumored to be seeing Drew's partner (Cheryl Whatsernameanyway) from Dancing with the Stars.
And also, I found out this morning that my friend Cynthia (due in June) will be giving birth to identical twin girls. Now, y'all [now i'm from the south? seriously- it's in your best interest to ignore me...] know how I feel about babies in my life right now (not good), but if I had to choose, I would choose to have identical twin girls. So, maybe by the time that I have that option, I'll be ready to have Coors Light twinsets of my own.
And while we're talking about babies, check out pics of Gwen (the other one). Seriously, though- how pretty is she? I'm going with "very," but feel free to employ "extremely" or "totally."
So, hey-- 1 mulligan delivered directly to my gall bladder via alimentary canal (if, of course, it goes there).
posted by jayniek at 11:32 AM
1 Comments:
i'm with you on the gall bladder.
and holy shit cynthia is having a baby? two babies? at the same time??
lord. i just kinda started getting used to the fact that people i know are married. for christs sake, life, slow the fuck down.
sorry for all the swearing just now. reason number 2,348 that i am not having kids ever.
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