6 Pineapples for Sultry Snowbunnies
As such, my Olympic vigor is back in a big way, thanks to my unmatched ability to make absolutely anything into a Festival of Shallow Thought.
[This is a defense-mechanism, friends, and it takes practice.]
So, I think it’s far enough into the games to start crowning the Hot-to-Trots and the Hot-so-Nots of Torino ’06.
[Note- If you work in an open-layout office and sit especially close to a prudie old lady, you probably want to wait til you get home to open the first two links. Midriff exposure will occur.]
Jeremy Bloom: He is a real boy. With real fabulous obliques. May I please direct your attention to the bottom row, middle photo? Are you serious? Seriously, are you serious? You can put that shirt down, Jeremy, you won’t be needing it.
Let me also mention that upon returning from Torino, he’ll be attending NFL tryouts while balancing his Tommy Hilfiger ad campaign with Laura Bush.
Loser. I think he needs a hug. And 4 pineapples.
Gretchen Bleiler: First off, she’s a snowboarder, which is hot anyway. Although, the first picture is a little weird (she'd be really cold like that), and she talks obnoxiously about getting her panties stolen while she was hottubbing (come on... get a new damsel-without-her-thong plotline, girlfriend). Nonetheless, she has a tight little body. The third pic is funny because she can’t seem to get her silly little skirt on. Aww, shucks, Gretch, we know you tried real hard. 2 pineapples for effort. [see pic 4 for the sad conclusion of this skirt struggle: no dice, it seems, and that’s okay—we’ll put that with Jeremy’s superfluous shirt.]
I like how I’ve already amassed a pile of unnecessary athlete clothing. EBay, perhaps?
Two hotties down, I need to conclude with a not-so-much-so: Apollo Anton Ohno. He looks too much like a shrunken Dave Navarro, but without the hard, sexy edge, and markedly without the added allure of knowing that he gets to sleep with Carmen Electra. Apparently, though, he does gets to rub knees with the Crocodile Hunter and Mini-Me.
I guess that’s pretty cool...
For a Critical Fluff Hot-so-Not, of course. 2 Crabs.