40-Something Pineapples for Madonna's Rock-Hard Kabbalah Buns

First off, K-Cav's new UPN venture was not only terrible, it was terrible. As you can well surmise, I am so upset about it that I refuse to think of two different adjectives. It deserves nothing. Nothing. I watched some chirpy girls have a 21st birthday party in Vegas; Kristen stood there like a trendy lump of coal. I had to shut it off before I started trying to touch my elbows together behind my back to amuse myself.

Has anyone been watching Entertainment Tonight? If not, you've been missing Tonya Harding at a sleek 250 pounds doing some sort of week-long expose. Tune in tomorrow night as she "reveals a family secret."
What, T-Hard, thyroid problems?

Mother of all idols, I tuned in to the Grammys a minute ago just in time to see Madonna and The Gorillaz in the opening number.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...


Madonna looks unbelievably, incredibly, magnificently, fantastically hot. I'm, like, not even kidding. Her body is sick. Like, sicker than in the Open Your Heart vid, sicker than the Hung Up vid, sicker than all sickening get-out.

I was not only mesmerized, but now I'm prodded to do pilates for, say, the next 16 hours straight.

As for the new media buzz-o for the day, NYT has joined with Brightcove (of Cambridge, MA, glory be...) to amp up their online video offerings. Score one for not wanting to be outmoded.

And my media-critic-crush-of-the-moment, Steve over at AdRants, talks about the boot in the ass that NBC got from the American Family Association for the nomenclatural details of Britney's upcoming guest spot on Will & Grace. Brit was slated to star in a cooking show called "Cruci-Fixin's."

To the AFA: 55 blanched crabapples aimed right at your whiny faces.
And, wait... you're targeting W & G now? Go ahead, latey-pants-es.


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