30 Crabapples for Viral Marketing

Crabapples are sold at farm stands for $2.89 a bushel. What would one use these for? Other than, of course, virtual judgement.

1. The Ricola Mystery Cougher is coming to Boston on Thursday. Awesome. Because if there's one thing I love, it's germs. And if there's one thing that I love more than that, it's germs appended with fine print and asinine stipulations. Check out the rules and regs-- the prize is something sealed up tightly in one of fifty envelopes. I call Ricola's bluff. My guess is that the ill-defined something in at least 48 of these envelopes is an audio file of Nelson saying "ha-ha."

::30 Crabapples for coughing on my city. Even if you cover your biz-buzz mouth.

2. So Larry Summers resigned today, effective June 30th. Supposedly, he'll take a sabbatical (read: try to relax as he is being pummeled with handbags, high-heeled boots, and fat Physics textbooks) and then return as a prof. If only Theo hadn't auctioned off the gorilla suit...

::61 Pineapples for declaring that the ditch you dug was too deep to decamp.

3. How long before Tanith Belbin gets a proposition from Playboy? I give it about 4 minutes. Tops.

::44 Pineapples for a silver medal and innumerable PR opps.

[And, for the record, the pair are not dating; in fact, both Belbin and Agosto have other others. Unfortunately, every TV reporter cannot help him/herself from commenting on their "clear erotic chemistry" or "amazing sexiness." Ten bucks says the other others have made out at least once, spurred by nothing other than self-deprecating spite.]

4. I finally got on the hog and starting reading John Battelle's The Search.

Right... because Google didn't already occupy 83% of my mindspace. I think I'm even composing paintings in that color-wheel-centric Google rainbow. Can someone please keep an eye on me for when I start Cyndi-Lauper-layering my socks in red-yellow-blue...

::57 Pineapples for a read that haunts me in a good way. Kinda like Cyndi.

5. Freestyle-Skiier Emily Cook is actually Alanis Morrisette, correct?


Anonymous j said...

Wow. You had me going there -- when you said Viral Marketing I was thinking the little blurb at the bottom of every Hotmail email that reads: this message sent from Hotmail.com. To which I was gonna reply, I know a guy who is friends with the guy who invented viral marketing -- who told Hotmail that the way to make money was to give their product away for free. We was right. Well done, Tim. Alas, you were talking about actually marketing viruses: yuck.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Viral marketing for things that are not related to viruses: Good idea.
Viral marketing by sending someone into the city in the (I'm guessing) hope of being offered a ricola rather than being considered a bird flu threat: Bad idea.


2:58 AM  

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