A Baggie of Mulligans for Whomever Designed This Place:
Howe'er Many You Need

I saw, this past weekend, the single most absurd thing that I have ever seen.

I'm sitting on the bus, reeling from the fact that I kinda just met a celebrity at a bar... Okay, now I'm about to markedly digress simply so I can gratuitously name-drop, but that's what this blog is for, right? So, Ken Howard. Know him? Yea, me neither. But the bartender did. And she told me that he was in Crossing Jordan and Curb Your Enthusiam and Murder, She Wrote and some other crime/supernatural dramas that I can't really remember because I'm totally not into them. (Not to mention a couple of West Wing epis, KD... imdb him.)

He was star-poweredly funny. He yelled at the waitress dramatically as he was getting on his coat to leave: "The food was awful, the beer was awful, the service was awful... and I'm leaving in a huff!"

Then he guffawed a Hollywood-guffaw and smirked; and then... then, he turned on his heels in clean military-style and left. All at the bar stared and laughed with exaggerated animation. I may have even lifted my hand and slapped my knee lightly, in spite of myself.

Bravo! Bravo! Celebrities are cool. Even if I didn't know he was a celebrity until I was told that he was a celebrity.
I want that kind of presence.

So, anywayanyway--- single most absurd thing ever...

On the bus, I am... and I see this super-frazzled-looking woman trying to climb onto the bus holding this fricking huge huge HUGE box of Tide. She's totally laboring and sweating and huffing like a dog.

and finally she hoists it up and sits the mega-box on her lap. The thing is like a fricking hippo on her fricking lap. Foolish. And no one cares. No one is even looking.

Meanwhile, I am gawking.

All I can think is, "Seriously shit-crap, who designed a world in which a woman would find a need to carry a box of laundry granules bigger than her torso onto public transportation?"

Forget war and hunger and bird flu and Michael Jackson kissing Lisa-Marie, this is proof enough for me that either something went really, really wrong somewhere along the space/time continuum-- or that it's completely correct for me to find this sight totally fucking hysterical. And absurdly, absurdly, absurdly tragic.


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