Alert and Avert! Heedless Crabapple Throwing!

1. Jake Delhomme is homely. I'm sorry. 15 crabapples because he comes within 100 yards of irking me as much as Joe Buck.

2. Wonder Bread is coming out with a white wheat bread.
Oh come on. That's like Hershey's coming out with a pear.
128 crabapples thrown by Jake (FTR, I never disrespected his arm.)

3. It's decided. I'm going to the Boston Wine Expo. I will meet Todd English and he will tell me that I can go to Olives for free for the rest of my life because he really likes my hair. 66 piney-As.

4. Speaking of, Miss Texas totally got robbed in the Miss America pageant last night. The tall OK (the state, not the affirmation) gal who won had a bit too much pikachu/giraffe in her. But she did have nice legs. And a hot dress. But that's all material. And that does not keep with the spirit of the Miss A foundation. Seriously, condemnophiles... greater good at stake here.
5 crabbers.

5. Google is going the way of old media, becoming a sort of brokerage octopus... elegantly stretching its arms (legs?) in and among the puddin' pies of TV, radio, and newspapers, proving more and more every day that the once-forsaken Google ad team is now my Pimp Daddy-- and yours, and yours, and, yes, yours.

6. My new favorite site? Oligopoly Watch. Hats off to Steve Hannaford for explaining pseudo-variety without sticking a fat, clumsy knife into the blow-up doll of consumerism (as I most likely would have conceded in doing).
[I just double-checked the URL and noticed that Steve wrote about the Google/dMarc bunny hug today as well... As I said... Google- My Pimpdad and yours.]
Hmmm... 92 pineapples for Steve-O Hannaford. And a preemptive crabapple to me in case he finds out that I called him Steve-O (the original of whom, by the way, is rumored to be dating Nicole Ritchie...didya hear?)

7. Speaking of Google (wait- were we? yes.)... I made a beautiful baked haddock last night. The trick? you ask (too polite, you are)... Sub Cheez-Itz for breadcrumbs, add some slivered almonds and buttermilk ranch seasoning (from the new Penzey's Spices with the shitty parking lot in ARL Heights)...
Fish swaddled in velvet, folks.
I amaze myself.


Blogger kate.d. said...

delhomme is indeed nasty.

you actually watched CMT? the miss america pageant on CMT?? you loon. i know you are a pop culture princess, but i fear the depths into which you've begun to dive for these little tidbits!!

beware for your brain cells....

11:41 AM  
Blogger jayniek said...

I will go anywhere...ANYWHERE... for these tidbits!! I am not scared; I am not frightened; I am proud to frolic through fields of frivolity, head held high and a lifetime subscription to Cosmo in my hand!

7:16 PM  

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