15 Blushing Crabapples for Underage Taco Tasting

You're all aware (unless you close your eyes and hum while you read this) that I engage in much TV watching. What that means, consequently, is that I also engage in much TV commercial watching. Sure, I have my favorites-- but that's not what today is about.

Today is about the Totino's Pizza Rolls commercial. You know it. A bunch of kids skulking around the kitchen trying to be quiet about making a Totino's snack... and then they nuke 'em up and begin to eat them and soon thereafter can no longer contain the bursting attack of cheesy-saucy goodness that has, clearly by the grace of none other than our magnificent and benevolent holy lord, come to fill their mouths.

And so... like any fucking totally annoying 6th graders would, they begin to scream.


And then... then... in a prepubescent shrill designed specifically to kill me:


Come on, ew. Now I just feel uncomfortable.

I half-expect the little red-haired punk to shriek wildly, "MINE TASTES LIKE YOUR FUCKIN' MOTHER!"

I half-want him to. If merely to prove a point.

For being inadvertently gross and causing me harrowing nightmares about little boys shoving taco nuggets into their huge gaping devilmouths at hyperbolic warpspeed, 15 crabapples-- thrown with due force.

And speaking of junk food, please enjoy my pop art representation of Boston's newest acquisition. I am proudly ignoring the fact that Theo called this man's arm "his weakest tool." As if that's even relevant... sheesh.
2 tentative pinapples.

Oh, and K-Cav update: today I got seekers from Peru, Australia, and Spain. Bogglingly cool! Pineapples shipped (UPS Ground) to all corners of the earth. Za-zzoom!!

In other news, I realized today that I really wish my name was "Candie," spelled just like that.
Wouldn't that just be neat?

One more thing-- since we're talking about things that near-rhyme with "Candie"...

Bambi 2 arrives in theaters next week. And I feel a bit bad saying this because I'm honestly not sure, but didn't Bambi die?


Anonymous e said...

Bambi's mother died, ninny.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous katers said...

yeah. the mom. dead.

2:29 PM  
Blogger jayniek said...


Oh, that's good. Lil' Bambino was too young to die.

And, to clarify, Bambi 2 will be DVD only. So don't go waiting in line at the cineplex; it will not be there.

2:38 PM  
Blogger jayniek said...

While we're on the subject, did the mom die of natural causes--- or was it a forest disaster of some sort?

I need to look up this plotline.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous e said...

imdb Bambi or Bambi's mum

3:30 PM  

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