1,256,722 Pineapples in Confetti Form

The Manhattan is a drink created in 1874 at the Manhattan Club in NYC for Lady Rudolph Churchill.

Lady Rudolph Churchill can kiss my ass right about now.

But hey, happy 06. There's snow; it looks nice.

My mind is low-functioning. So here-- here are some simple predictions for all that will be bigger than large in JaynieK's version of 06 (I'm too sleepy to justify any of them, so I ask you to kindly pick up your wings and prayers and hop aboard):

1. Ryan Seacrest and Dr. Phil will host a show together. They will be firebombed, together, on stage.

2. The hot Italian chick on the Food Network will pose for Playboy.

3. Lindsey Lohan will marry and subsequently divorce a 40+ man with a crack addiction. [Think Robert Downey, Jr., but not as cute].

4. Gwenyth will get preggers again. Like, by March. She will name the baby Peta, regardless of gender.

5. Kevin and Brit -- done. Kevin will date Ashlee Simpson. Oh jesus, pleeease.

6. There will be more talking goats and/or applesauce on primetime (now this really is turning into a wishlist.)

7. Maria Menunos will start dating a soap star, or a NBA star, or a hot has-been (I'm thinking along the lines of Dean Cain).

8. Topher Grace will start dating me. As soon as I take 55 advils.

9. Roy will get bitten by a tiger again.


Blogger kate.d. said...

if you were dating topher grace, i would start thinking of creative ways to effect your demise. i would have to start watching as many crime dramas as possible, in order to figure out how to not be caught by the long arm of the law.

well, then i guess i'd also have to figure out how to make topher love me in your absence.

good thing you're not dating topher grace, or my life would be a lot more complicated.

12:16 AM  
Blogger jayniek said...

but Jayne Grace? How perfectly elegant! Surely a complete misnomer, but elegant nonetheless...

9:32 AM  

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