12.19.2005

A Mixed Bushel for Google

Before I hit up the main issue, two quick things:

1. I just bought every single gold sequin at the mall. If you see me on New Year's Eve, you will see me on New Year's Eve. 12 pineapples all up in my grill for openly embracing my inner Destiny's Child.

2. Suzi and Jeff from The Biggest Loser are dating! And they both look so good! How good? [insert Strongbad inflection/impediment here] Sooo good. 2 pineapples -- one for each of you. I'm not good at sharing, so who am I to expect you to be?

3. Sorry-- I know I said two, but I just thought of it, and, frankly, I've lost all earthly contact with self-control now'days. Ashley Simpson... getting hotter by the day, don'tcha think? I once thought her unattractive, but I believe I was wrong. Maybe it's just because I really like her new "I Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend" song-- a ladylike llama spit to you, Lindsay Lohan. 5 Pineapples for Ash. And get well soon.

4. Shit, sorry, sorry.
So, given that I took today off to go christmas shopping, I got to watch Regis and Kelly. Everyone's favorite 3-pt asshole, Jason Kidd, was on as a guest. I hate to say this (kind of), but his voice is just awful. He has this weird amalgamated speech pattern that is sort of a cross between a little British boy and Ice Cube. Because of this revelation, I felt happy. Because I hate him. Crabapples... many... always.

Okay, so I really wanted to talk about Google. I read this quote by Grant McCracken [www.cultureby.com] yesterday: "Google can wrangle information... It is clueless and clumsy when it comes to meanings." His post reflected on the new value proposition of ad agencies, in that their new function slants more towards creating product ideas, personalities, rather than static logos, soundbytes, or taglines. It's a holistic look at new media advertising, and he writes about it brilliantly. But, my only question is this-- if we, as the ravenous Google-consumers that we are, continue to use it with the force, nerve, and frequency as we currently do, how long will it be before Google algorithmically develops a cultural consciousness of its own?

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