Dirty-Dirty Pineapples for the Pussycat Dolls

Since I am currently suffering from a persistent case of head-lodged-in-my-asshole disease, I must warn you that this post will be filled with bubblegum pop, lots of blonde, scattered rainshowers, boyfriend-stealers, and, quite possibly, a scantily-clad pillow fight. Hop in -- baby, you can drive my car...

I'm terribly sorry -- I'm back to eating coolwhip out of the tub again.

So, lookie here, another gd list:

1. Gwen Stefani is preg-o. Let's hope that she names it an acronym. To follow suit of her clothing line, LAMB (Love-Angel-Music-Baby), we can only pray that we are graced with a little PIG (Perfect Infant of Gwen) Stefani. How totally cute. Maybe farm animals can rise up as the new trend in baby names-- thereby overshadowing fruit, expired flower-power, and quirky-for-the-sake-of-it-ness.

2. I am not ordinarily a fan of Punk'd. Ashton has been getting more and more Gilbert Gottfried by the episode. But today I watched him punk Kristen Cavallari. I like her even more now, as she stayed in perfect LB character throughout her entire ordeal. Upon watching her car get pummeled by a nine-iron-wielding Redneck, she twirls her hair extensions frantically while shrieking: "Are you like totally kidding me right now?" Oh, how I love thee. I may have to cheat on LC to become a bigger fan of KC. No, no, I just couldn't....

3. Speaking of Ashton, his best project ever is back for a second go-'round! You bet... BEAUTY & THE GEEK 2. Starts January 12th! Clapping! Clapping! Let's hear more clapping! And, speaking of, the break-out star of last season, Richard, was a guest on Punk'd the other day during the Allen Iverson punkage. And speaking of of of, in honor of AI's 53 points on Friday night, I would like to report that I scored 66 on a single-word in Scrabble on xmas day. QUARTZ. Triple letter and double word... hells yea, biat-ches.

4. A burlesque troupe turned skanky girl group? The Pussycat Dolls are lovely little whorebaggies, and I applaud their moxie. And, yet again, because I have a thing, I must cite their amazing abs. Dontcha may take over Ashlee's spot as the best boyfriend-stealing anthem of the week. I also give them a few pineapples for realizing that the most marketable way to create a Spice Girls knockoff group is to bring together 6 Posh-es. Too obvious, right? Sheen, class, tight leather minis and smoldering eyeliner slaps the longevity right outta army fatigues, pigtails, and/or soccer socks. They are proud to be very, very naughty, and they are even prouder of their resounding lack of irony. For that, 69 pineapples -- with my tongue nowhere near my cheek.

Thanks to soundgenerator.com for the pic of my favorite sextet of burlesque bubblegummers.


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