A Crapload of Crabbies for Johnny D... and Envious Pineapples for Fergie's Ability to Wear Bunhuggers Regardless of Season

As I'm feeling especially flitty lately, lists are the only way I can play this game.
LA-LA. la-la-la.

1. Sure thing... I'm pissed, but Johnny Damon is not an idiot. He still gets 101 crabapples though, and we all know that crabapples are not nearly as cute as dalmation puppies.

2. I think about The Black-Eyed Peas often. I like to look at Fergie's legs because they are long and pretty and strong, like she eats her chicken and does lots of reps on the leg press at very low resistance. Or has absurdly amazing genes. I also think that that "My Humps" song is hilarious. And catchy. But I sorta feel silly even singing it in my head; I don't feel silly about much.

And I quote: "What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk..."

See, to me, that is unflattering.

Overall, a couple pineapples and half a crabber.

3. I got a shitload of google hits for "Kristen Cavalleri" last night. Did I miss the premiere of her new dumb show (that, incidentally, I will most certainly watch religiously)? Speaking of, who can wait until LC's "The Hills" starts?

"Not I," said the Hen.

"Not I," said the Fox.

"Not I," said the Blue Duck.

Sorry, I don't even know what children's story I am vaguely referring to, but I'm pretty sure the Blue Duck is completely from my head. But I will love the Blue Duck anyway. ahahahahahaaa.
3 pineapples for tangents that make me point at myself and giggle.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know about a blue duck... but "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See?" has a blue horse and purple cat.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Katers said...

I think you were referring to The Little Red Hen (which, by the way, Margaret Atwood does a FANTASTIC feminist version of) and I'm just insulted you didn't ask me outright! Those are the only trivia questions I can answer!

2:05 PM  
Blogger jayniek said...

KATERS! Damn me. Damn me hard. But, hey, thank ya!

2:17 PM  

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