Because I'm still not Rory...

I have to go with another list. Seriously, though, is this what I do now? I make lists of hot people and people that get to make-out with hot people? [The most apt subsequent question would obviously be "What's my fucking problem?"... but that jury is on an interminable recess.]

1. Okay, listen, let's talk about Britney for a second. Disagree with me if you will (and I could name names of those who will), but I'm mourning the loss of Brit as a poptart. I remember the good ol' days: making up a dance routine to "Crazy" involving chairs and a button-down shirt tied in a cute little knot (no, really, this routine was with people); it was really good, as you can well imagine. And Jill can attest to the day we went to class sophomore year dressed up as Britney: plaid miniskirts, knee socks, pigtails, very cute glasses... the whole nine yards. Not that I could walk into work wearing that now (my day job, that is), but damn it, I've lost an idol. And Mother Theresa has nothin' on Brit... Don't even start...

Is it embarrassing to admit that I even had a Britney Spears poster in my room junior year? So be it. Brit, 5 crabapples for having a baby. Slanted opinion...sure...we all know how I feel about babies, but I miss your scandalous outfits and unmatched shininess. And I will still emulate your sparkle in my leisure time, at least until I turn 30.

2. I saw the re-run of the Victoria's Secret fashion show last night. Could they have been more obvious about cloaking Tyra in onesies and capes? In addition, if anyone is interested in doing runway passes in his/her livingroom, the best song to do this to is Lenny Kravitz's "Lady." 3 pineapples overall.

3. I'm mildly interested in seeing King Kong. The critics are raving about the love story. I just don't know about that... and I'm ordinarily totally accepting of extending metaphors into full plotlines. An impending pineapple, with a crabapple held loosely in my left hand, jic.

4. Four-- whew. I'm already doing better than yesterday, but rapidly losing steam. How about this... I think Katie Couric and Matt Lauer want each other so badly that it hurts down to my ankles to watch. But-- to clarify-- I think Katie wants Matt way more than Matt wants Katie. For that I have no proof, you just have to watch and agree. 6 pineapples for sexual tension before 8 am.

5. Speaking of morning shows, I've always had a thing for Kelly Ripa. I think she's great- relatable, peppy, energetic, stylish. I haven't watched the show since grad school, but the back of my head is getting sick of her. I think it may be her sitcom, or the fact that she plays the same character on her sitcom that she does on Live. I'm all for being blonde when the situation calls for it, but there comes a point. 1 crabapple, Kel. And watch it before I dole more.

6. And speaking of never-ever even coming close to reaching that point (and of me arbitrarily and unfairly not caring), I am happy to announce that Kristen Cavillari will be hosting a show called "Get This Party Started" on UPN beginning in January. Call me an unabashed fan and see if I flinch. 8 pineapples for being likeable... despite... just despite.

7. and and and...and only because 7 seems luckyish today, speaking of bare midriffs.... and I ask this, as always, in earnest: are belly rings totally over? like, even for college freshmen? Oh sweet heavens! Say it ain't so! Britney, if your waning stardom indirectly caused this trend to slip, I have to give you another crabapple, and you know how much that hurts.


Blogger kate.d. said...

ok, i feel kinda like a nerd because i am always compelled to respond to your observations, and i just can't stop myself. and i'm not sure i'm spelling "compelled" right.

1- who is Mother Theresa? i am old, and confused.

2- why would tyra be wearing onesies and capes? i am old, and even more confused.

3- oh shit, i forgot the third thing. damn you and your lists. i'll be back.

10:14 PM  
Blogger kate.d. said...

oh right, king kong! have you read Angry Black Bitch's post about it? it's been linked in a few places i've seen...and she has a good point, i think. metaphor indeed.


10:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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4:48 PM  

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