ANTM: Three Crabapples for Bre

Bre must be eliminated tonight on America's Next Top Model or I may lose all respect for Tyra Banks. Considering that I store my Tyra-respect in a very pretty little thimble, let's hope Bre's husky drawl takes the high road back to the Bronx tonight.

See, though... I'm sad. Because I liked Bre at first. She was tough and beautiful, but with that notable mental raggedness that so elegantly begs for a emotional emory board, reminding me a bit of my conception of Mariah Carey in her darker days, before the new Mimi took root and while she was still humming "Emotions" quietly as she ordered 8 new pairs of beige Juicy pants online.

First, Bre called out Lisa for having an "ugly personality"; next, she outed Kim for having an "ugly personality"; then, last week, she freaked on Nicole for having an...umm... "ugly personality." HEEEEEEEEYYYY-- hold on jus' a minute... You keep saying the same words. "God doesn't like ugly personalities," Bre asserts. Uh, okay, maybe not....but please define.

To make matters worse, she dumped Nicole's Red Bulls in the sink after assuming that Nicole ate one of her granola bars. Seriously, god forbid.

For repetitive wording and stealing stupid crap for no reason, Bre gets 3 crabapples.
As an aside, Mariah gets one pineapple for bringing back brand identification to the Top 40. Calgon royalties forthcoming.


Blogger kate.d. said...

brilliant! i love this concept. i would say that i *heart* it, but that pop culture linguistic trend gets a crabapple from me, so i won't.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Dog Phace Blue Hand said...

Tyra's sadistic pleasure at pitting the ambitious against each other - Not nice. Not at all.

8:24 PM  

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