tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19467380.post-2487877673455031392007-05-01T21:12:00.000-04:002007-05-01T20:55:25.318-04:00I have a horrible anger-management problem when it comes to a very particular set of people:<br /><br />Slow walkers.<br /><br />No, actually: slow walkers doing extraneous tasks while not moving out of the way of the clear-and-present stream of traffic.<br /><br />Need some examples? Well, sure. Here:<br /><br />- The girl rummaging through her purse on the left ("it's here that we walk") side of the escalator, seemingly in search of the Magic Pearl of Gibraltar.<br /><br />- The couple with their hands around each other's waists, barely moving forward at all, blocking an entire narrow hallway.<br /><br />And this much is just true: people that walk wicked super slow... make a habit of walking wicked super slow. <br />Because I KNOW that they just KNOW how much it hurts my soul.<br /><br />Anyway, I was stuck behind a SWDEC ("slow walker doing extra crap"-- pronounced "swid-eck") going up the stairs at the Davis T-stop tonight, and I decided I should document my inner dialogue in the hopes of overcoming this mind-debilitating annoyance.<br /><br />It starts mildly:<br /><br />"Hmm, I wish you would walk."<br /><br />Then:<br /><br />"Uh, M'am, can you walk?"<br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">Walking</span>."<br />"Ihateyou."<br /><br />And then I start pawing anxiously at my ponytail:<br /><br />"Um, yea, I actually <span style="font-style:italic;">really</span> need you to walk."<br />"Hate."<br />...<br />...<br />...<br />"Hate."<br />...<br />"My mother hates you."<br />"Your mother hates you."<br />...<br />"Hate."<br />"hate-hate-hate-hate-hate-seething-monkey-asshole-hate."<br /><br /><br />Yea, it always ends badly.jayniekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14893956452502304978noreply@blogger.com